Well tonight I went to go to dinner and a movie with a few friends, no big deal, could use the time out so was excited to go. We were going to see a "chick flick" my husband would probably never like. Dinner was great, the movie was great until... the very last scene. It showed, not literally, a woman having a baby and all of her friends were there to help her and witness the great event. There were shouts of joy as the baby emerged and was announced that it was a baby boy! I started bawling like a baby! Having suffered a very recent stillbirth with our son Isaac James it was too much for me to handle. I tried to quickly excuse myself after the movie and practically ran to my car to head home. My poor friends were texting me and apologizing for taking me to that kind of movie, no one could have known...
I know that there will be pain for quite a while and that it will come and go for years. I don't know why I am in such a hurry to get on with life as I once knew it. I guess that is the world we live in and what I am used to as well. You get told sorry and you move on... his life was so precious -how do you move on?
Jesus, I need you so desperately to breath into my spirit hope again. I need you and want you so badly to just come and wrap your arms around me and say that it will be okay. Please God let me rest tonight... fill me with peace as I sleep. I love you!
2 comments:
Susie, I was with you & Brad during the delivery of Isaac. I felt so priviledged to be able to hold him, to cuddle him, and love him. I will always cherish that night. Of course, my heart was also broken. I don't know how God is going to receive "glory" out of it all, but I do know that He is a faithful God & that He loves His children with an amazing love. I pray each day for all of you for the healing process to continue in your lives and ours. I love you! Liz-pooze
I found your blog through Marita's. I'm a Faithwriter, too. I want to let you know that your blogs about your baby son have touched me deeply. I don't know a loss this big--but I know loss. I lost my son's daddy when our son was only three, and that was a very deep pain for my heart to endure. Your own loss is so dear to your heart--it makes me want to send you a hug and say I'm so sorry. But your recent blogs have such a ray of hope in them...and I can tell you this: you will never forget that precious son--not possible!--but oh the joy when you see him again! What a blessed hope we have. It is all the difference. Praying that the Lord continues to hold you close to His heart.
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