I've been thinking a lot about the "Labor of Love" in regards to ministry. Being pastor's and serving others is probably the hardest, yet most rewarding calling ever, in my eyes.
I have been comparing it to an actual birthing labor. In my circumstances, I received a reward of 2 healthy boys, hearing their first cry was precious. However, I also had the heartache of labor with no reward, a still born baby boy, met with silence.
Our place of ministering has not been easy, yet we have seen many miracles & God's grace at work in lives time after time, after time. I knew when we moved here 11 years ago that this would be a difficult place to serve, so we prayed even harder to make sure all the road signs said "Go here!" I know that in this battle of life and ministry here, there have been countless times I want to quit. So goes my story...
What happens to a woman in labor if she decides that half way through giving birth, she decides to get outta there?
The pain is not worth it, she cannot yet see the results of her labor. And can I say, each woman's experience of labor, even from child to child is so different and mine from other women. There are screamers, panters, grunters, peaceful (if you had an epidural) and focused. Somehow in the middle of your labor, it is easy to lose sight of the goal, the reward of holding your child.
I can remember when I was in labor for what seemed like forever with our oldest son. My sister happened to be in town from out of state and was able to be there for his birth. She drove me crazy, absolutely drove me nuts!! Our son was so big that the pushing phase lasted for hours, not minutes or pushes... we just plain lost count. She would see glimpses of him and yell, "Go, push him out, I can see his head, you can do it"!! After 30 minutes to an hour of this I said "STOP IT! Please be quiet, SHUT UP!!"
In ministry, I am finding myself ready to get up off the table and say this just isn't worth it. My pain and losses far outweigh the joy of the results of the reward. So many people have bailed on "the labor", sometimes leaving in a huff because they don't like how long it is taking for us to make changes. Then there are others who leave quietly, sneaking out a back door, not saying a word, these hurt the most. I am there to labor alone, wondering what happened. Then you have a crowd that tells you how you are going to do it, no if's, and's or but's about it and you just want to scream, "Be quiet!"
Jonah was famous for saying he didn't want to go to "those people", for even when he saw the state of their lives and city, he did not care. He had a mentality of "they made their bed, they didn't seem eager to change their ways" so he bailed on them. He left in the middle of the labor of love God called him to.
I care and that is what hurts. I love those we serve here, I want to make a difference in my city. I want to be obedient and am trying to be patient, my biggest downfall.
It is hard right now... at this very moment, to be still, focus and remember that the reward is coming.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT says, "That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
The Message version says it like this, "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."
