Closing A Chapter

Well today was our last appointment at UW, praise God! Not that it wasn't great care up there, because they were amazing, even more so in our time of loss. It was a sealing off of a chapter in our lives. It was our first time back up there since we lost our precious son Isaac. It was tough going into the appt. and tougher when a lady sat down literally right by Brad when there was a room full of empty seats with her 2 month old baby girl. She was so adorable and all squishy sticking her tushy out as she slept and her mom was trying to wake her up to eat. I did considerably well though...

I tell you, I can feel God's arms around me, it is like He is holding my hand, knowing I am a super freak right now (-:

Yesterday at church one of the songs we sang had a line that kept saying "Jesus, I believe in You. Jesus, I belong to You. You're the reason that I live, the reason that I song... with all I am". I tell you what... I could not sing this song. I kept focusing in on the line that said "You're the reason that I live". Why me?

Here is the rest of the song:

Into Your hands, I commit again

With all I am for You Lord

You hold my world, in the palm of Your hand

And I am Yours forever

Jesus, I believe in You

Jesus, I belong to You

You're the reason that I live

The reason that I sing

With all I am

I'll walk with You wherever You go

Through tears and joy, I'll trust in You

And I will live in all of Your ways

Your promises forever

God knows I love music, it speaks so much to me. I love to sing and I haven't got my "sing" back on yet. Watch out - it may be coming soon!! I can't sing right now without bawling like a sissy girl so who knows when it will happen. I will probably include more songs later as the days come, it is healing for me. I hope it encourages you like it does me.

Oh yes today started off crazy by the way. Our Andrew, he is 10, had a rough start today. For the past day he has been holding on tight to our bear, Isaac. I will tell you about that tomorrow... Anyway, he has been holding him, giving him hugs and wrapping him in a blanket-so cute and it melts my heart as his momma. Today when he woke up he was holding "Isaac" and he was grumpy, not wanting to get up for school. So as the hour progressed he was poking like a turtle and emotional as I tried to get him to stay focused so he is not late. We take off for school and soon into our drive I give him the play by play of our after school plans of his brother riding the bus home with him. After I was done, he asked me "Mom, are you going to be coming home this time from UW?" That broke my heart, last time we went up there- I was missing in action for 3 days, unplanned, as I gave birth to his brother and came home empty handed... I assured him that yes, I would be coming home today. Within a few minutes, a squirrel was trying to get across the busy 2 lane street that was filled with cars on both sides and who gets to be the one to hit him? Mom!!! That is what I heard in disgust and soon after were tears from him. I felt like an idiot. My son who is already hurting and having a rough morning just got another blow to his little heart. I am thankful for prayer because I am happy to say that he is doing great and actually joking a bit about the squirrel. 

Good Night!